[ About twenty seconds pass.

The door opens again, and this time Kakashi's holding a mop in one hand and a garbage can in the other, which he shoves in the path of Iruka's general path of... projection.

This time he's not going to do anything nice like pat Iruka's back as he did the first time.

Iruka did this to himself, after all. ]

I don't think that's such a good idea, Iruka. [ Just Iruka, no "sensei" this time. ] Maybe we should get you back to your apartment, hmm?

[ And preferably, situated in front of the toilet. ]

[ Kakashi just arcs an eyebrow pointedly at Iruka, very tempted to just shove the mop in his face and go back into his apartment. Really, he probably should, just to teach him a lesson. But picking on someone who's clearly plastered and who probably won't even remember it is really not Kakashi's idea of fun.

Neither is cleaning up a puddle of puke in front of his door. ]

Well, your door is that way, if you want to get going.

[ Points in the direction, and gets right back to mopping up the mess at his door. ]

[ Seriously, this is starting to become rather ridiculous. Kakashi lets out a slow, controlled exhale through his nose as he contemplates just letting Iruka have his way with alcohol, but that would certainly not be very responsible of him, nor would it be the right thing to do. So he sets the broom aside and reaches out to grab Iruka's shoulder, turning him back to face him. ]

Iruka.

[ Says it to just get the man's attention, as he steals the second bottle from Iruka (how many bottles did he even buy?) as well as the bag. ]

You're cut off for the night.

I am your superior, though, whether you like it or not. And I'm not about to allow you to drink yourself to death because you feel guilty about something outside of your control.

[ Kakashi doesn't actually know if Iruka will completely be able to understand this, but he'll say it anyway, since it's worth saying. ]

Go back to your apartment, Iruka.

[ Kakashi says flatly, sliding the open bottle back into the bag. ]

[ Kakashi's really had enough of this. He jerks the bag back so Iruka can't grab it, takes a step back, then turns, slips back into his apartment, and closes the door.

Hear that, Iruka?

That's the sound of the lock clicking. ]

[ Kakashi thought he was well past caring, and had just about to begin setting to the task of putting the alcohol away and getting more cleaning supplies from the kitchen anyway, to clean up the rest of the gunk in the hallway.

He was entirely ready to just ignore the moron outside, figuring that Iruka would eventually find his way back into his own apartment. But no sooner did he turn and take two steps, did he hear the door to the stairwell open, and before he had a chance to yank his door open and grab Iruka before he took a step into the hallway, the sound of sequential thumps echoed from the hall just as Kakashi opened his door.

For a moment, he was about to worry that Iruka had actually hurt himself, but then he heard it -- the laughter.

What a drunk fool.

Kakashi sighs a withered sound, carefully steps over the stained spot in his hallway, then pushes open the door to the stairs and just looks down at Iruka from the top of the landing. It seems that Iruka had only fallen about five steps-- not too bad, but even still, there's something of a scratch on the chuunin's forehead, and he's probably a bit banged up. ]

I believe your apartment is in the other direction, sensei.

[ Kakashi says very flatly, then heads down the stairs, bends down, and starts to help Iruka up, hand curling around his arm to pull him up. ]

[ Of course.

Of course Iruka would go and say out loud what no one ever dares to say at all. Iruka's just that kind of man, isn't he. The kind that opens his mouth and says regrettable things without thinking about it before he does. Speaking it aloud makes it hard to deny what everyone thinks but no one ever talks about. What everyone knows but tries not to think about when you see them smiling together and your sensei is alive and you want so badly to hold onto what you shouldn't be able to hold in your hands when it's been seventeen years dead and buried underground. When you've spent more than half your life trying to keep a part of him alive, and failing miserably because you could never hope to be a fraction the sensei that he was. It's easier to pretend this travesty of a reality they're trapped in is somehow not as bad as it really is if you cover it up in a coat of bright paint over its broken surface.

(Don't look beyond the cracks, because what you see will likely break you.)

It's all sunshine above and laughter below, stealing these hidden moments like honey from a bee's nest. Hope you don't get stung in the process, and even if you do, those little bites don't seem so terrible when the reward is so sweet.

Maybe that's how they manage to control you in the end, choking on a mouthful of honey.

(Somehow it doesn't seem so bad, when Kakashi's not even sure if he's even still alive back home. Maybe he's just another ghost amongst ghosts, trying to steal more time from the living.)

Kakashi stares down at Iruka for a moment with one hand tightly wound around the other's bicep, holding him half-hauled up. Then he just yanks him up to a full stand, sliding one arm around Iruka's waist and turning them to face the stairs up. ]

Aa, you're right. It isn't fair.

[ Kakashi says flatly, and then starts to ascend the stairs with Iruka in tow. ]

But life never is, is it.

[ He doesn't actually expect a real answer from a rhetorical like that, but he knows Iruka is raw and emotional and drunk, and will probably say more shit Kakashi probably doesn't exactly want to hear, if only because he doesn't need to be reminded of the truth when it smacks him in the face on a daily basis:

That none of this is really, truly real.

That none of it really matters, in the sense of it affecting their real world. Their real lives.

That they are living in this surreal fantasy, and at any time, it might end, and none of them will remember it having happened at all, and all they fight to keep sacred and meaningful here in this world ultimately means nothing at all. ]

Drinking yourself into oblivion isn't going to change the fact that you aren't the only one who feels that way.

[ Kakashi drags Iruka bodily up to the top of the stairs and pushes the door open. ]

Besides, we don't need to bury you from alcohol poisoning, hmm? I don't think that would make Naruto very happy, would it.

[ For Naruto, this place is real, and the most amount of living he's ever gotten a chance to do, uninterrupted by war or battle, in quite some time. Every time Kakashi looks at him, at how happy he is to be with his family, with his friends, he's reminded of that fact. Death would be real here, too. Even if the dead inevitably come back to life.

It doesn't make the initial loss any less real. ]

I can watch you drink water as you sober up. You're way past your limit.

[ Which that puddle in front of his door indicates.

Kakashi carefully steps past it again and then opens his own door, since it's not exactly tenable to keep an eye on Iruka if he were to just send him home. Keeping an eye on him at his own apartment makes more sense, at least until Iruka passes out or falls asleep. ]

We can either do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way, Iruka-sensei. Your choice.

[ The hard way might or might not involve Sharingan.

Kakashi ushers Iruka inside, and closes the door, making sure to block Iruka's access to the bag on the floor with his body. ]